Letters to a child in the dark…(#1)

There are a thousand reasons why I shouldn’t write this letter -you might not care, -it’s just a dumb idea,-who is this person anyway?…

but I have 10,000 reasons why I should-for 1…God has put it on my heart.

But as I begin to write, I have all kinds of thoughts in my heart, even screaming and yelling it seems with all the tumult I feel as I write: “No way, don’t write these letters. Are you actually going to send them anyway?” But I keep feeling that God wants the words written; I hear Him encourage me through other people. I was listening to the radio as I was driving to my destination, and (again, as I’ve had this happen to me in the past) I heard the announcer say, (it seems out of no-where), “Write That Letter!”

But that’s not all. In my struggle to actually put the words to the paper, someone was talking about having the problem of ‘analysis to paralysis’! I felt God telling me, “Don’t analyze and be paralyzed!”

So, I write this letter. First of all, I don’t think of you because anyone is talking about you or you entered into the conversation- NO, you must know this, and you must know this NOW, God puts you on my heart daily, but it’s not just recently, it’s been for the past 4 years now! I don’t really know what’s going on – but I pray for you because God won’t let me forget you. Now, that’s the truth.

And guess what I’ve learned about praying for people everyday, for weeks, that turn into months, that turn into years…they become very special and through prayer God puts His love that He has for you in my heart and all of a sudden, it seems as if we’re family. It’s as if I am praying for a family member or something. So, I write, just to let you know. You feel like family at this point. It’s as if I am praying for my own child.

You don’t ‘believe’ right now, but I write so that you might ‘believe’ one thing: You are special to God. Your life is important and He loves you very much. I know this because He won’t let me forget you ever! (And I forget a lot of things, just ask my kids!)

Well, to add to that list of ‘10,000 reasons’ why I should write this letter is because recently, I have heard the words, “Love’s worth fighting for!”

So, I kind of feel like I’m getting in the ring with you, (stepping out of my comfort zone), but unless I write these words, you’ll never know the story -so, I’ll tell you. The story, it’s about you). You see, it was a while back, but the neighbor had asked my younger boys to do  a job of  weeding in their entrance. Well, it was like a jungle, so I went to help them. These weren’t just weeds, they were WEEDS – mean and nasty, prickly and big, AND DEEP! So there was this one WEED! This thing was probably from the ‘dandelion’ family but a ‘Goliath’ variety! So,…

I got a shovel and started to dig around it, real deep, in order to break up the hard, clay-like dirt…and then I started praying for you… Then, with some heavy duty gloves on, I tried to pull this thing out. NO WAY! This thing was not moving.

I kept praying for you and asking God that He would ‘Set you free’ so to speak. This weed, that had grown so deep and seemed impossible to get out was a visual for me as I prayed…for you.

So, I dug again, pulled again. Still, no success. I dug deeper and this time, you will never believe this, but this WEED din’t just break off, or stubbornly just free up the upper portion, NO! The entire WEED, all the way to the tap-root came out! From top to bottom, this monster was ‘out of there’! Yes, completely set free!

I believe God gave me this visual so that I would always believe, no matter what, that you will be completely healed. Completely delivered. There will be a great deliverance – just as Jesus Himself said, “With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26.

I don’t know why there is a part of me that wants to ‘apologize’ for writing this first letter, maybe it’s that ‘pleaser’ personality in me, but what I really want to say is, I care, and I believe in all God wants to do in you. Yes, I believe, and I pray with all my heart, that you would believe too.  And, in case you haven’t heard, God has a plan for you… yes, He made sure that it was written. And I’m so glad, because if it wasn’t, we would never know. Here’s what He says, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you, and not to harm you. To give you a future and … a hope. Jer. 29:11.

with love, that God has filled me with, for you, …




Author: tonirypkema

Wife to 1, mother of 11, daughter of 1. "The most amazing woman in the world." -Jared (son)

One thought on “Letters to a child in the dark…(#1)”

  1. Toni, I can’t thank you enough for writing this letter! I am not sleeping, so in addition to the terrible pain, I feel like a zombie. Nothing is working and I am at my end.  I have tried every diet, every supplement and now tons of drugs all to no avail. I just seem to be getting worse and worse.  God has been showing me things, but now I am too tired to hear Him. I just want to cry all the time, and often just want life to end. I am spent.  I needed to hear these words today (and everyday).  I worked on a farm (in my healthy years) and remember one day being sent a certain patch of land with 8 foot high weeds. What you wrote was exactly what we experienced that day. They were ginormous, but cam out whole after tons of labor. I guess I am still in the labor phase. Thank you for praying for me, and please continue.  Off to the couch now. I am too tired to sit up anymore. Lisa D

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