Who knows agony of spirit?

Who knows agony of spirit?

For some it comes in an instant. Sudden loss and trauma roll in like thick clouds – they don’t move, the thick darkness. It simply stays around.

For some there is heaviness of feeling, being abandoned and alone. Being rejected and forsaken, and Confusion makes a home.

“My God, My God. Why have You forsaken Me.” (1) These are the words of Jesus, the Lord.

“Have you not known? Have you not heard? The everlasting God, the LORD, The Creator of the ends of the earth, Neither faints nor is weary.

His understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the weak, And to those who have no might He increases strength.

Even the youths shall faint and be weary, And the young men shall utterly fall,

But those who wait on the LORD Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.” (2)

This is the word of God. Oh, how it reads like a poem.

The enemy of God wants to destroy faith in His name. The enemy, and our flesh destroy, But God remains the same. ‘He is the same, yesterday, today and forever…’ (3) Who is like God? Who was and is and is to come –

“In the beginning God, … and darkness was on the face of the deep … and the Spirit of God was hovering over the … waters. Then God said, “Let there be light”; and there was light.” (4)

Who knows agony of spirit? We all do. But Jesus does most! Even beyond the depth of our darkness, He has walked, that we might cry out His name.

This is the will of God. That we seek Him and hear Him and turn from our ways. He is the light that shines in the darkness. “For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, (5) … “Let there be light.” is what God says.

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” (6) “For God has not given us a spirit of fear …” these are the words that we must hold on to, as Jesus endured hours on the cross. “But of power and of love …” there is hope. God will restore – His word is alive even now, in each of us, ever more.

Because God has given us a ‘sound mind.’ Right now and forever, step by step, and hour after hour.

Does He know we are in agony of Spirit? Oh, yes. He knows. And He is with us,  we must keep calling  His name. A new creation, a resurrection from the dead, this is what He gives. We wait, and trust – because His name is Faithful. His name is True. His eyes remained on the Father, and that is what we … will do … too.

“God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble.”

Could it be? Could it actually be? That this present darkness we are in, will be a comfort for someone else, some day, some when? When we can hold their hand and listen, and cry with them too, and say, “Oh yes. Jesus knows exactly what you are feeling. He knows, through and through.”

And somehow, in a way mysterious, where pain and beauty meet, we are drawn to the Savior, like never before, and we worship Him,… complete.


(1) Mark 15:34

(2) Isaiah 40:28-31.

(3) Hebrews 13:8, Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever.”

(4) Gen. 1:1-3.

(5)  John 3:16

(6) 2 Tim. 1:7.

(7) Psalm 46:1


Author: tonirypkema

Wife to 1, mother of 11, daughter of 1. "The most amazing woman in the world." -Jared (son)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s