As the ducks go by, my vision came clear

The world is a whirlwind of motion and time. The needs are great. Energy is given.

Babies held. Toddlers taught. Children learn what’s right what’s not. Schools full. Businesses open. Roads busy. Food prepared, and food being eaten. Time ticks on.

Are our thoughts all our own?

The pond in the park by the big oak tree sings. The still waters speak to halt my reasoning. My heart is calmed, my pace is slowed, my vision is expanded, and my mind’s thoughts echo:

“Maybe I’m confused. It’s not all about me. Maybe what I think is actually hurting me.

And somehow in the park, when the ducks go by “quacking,” I come to the conclusion: I’m not the center.

The stress, the strife, the fast pace of life, halts as the sun’s reflection sparkles the water. The smells of fresh air, and birds chirping everywhere. All my senses come to life. There’s something special about this moment, this moment in time.

In an instant my vision is expanded to include, not just me, and my world. My woes and and my goals, but to think about God. The Creator of all.

That’s what I need. I need more of Him.

I need God. Bottom line. Period.

As I needed the still waters of this pond, to bring vision to my broken heart. I need God to bring alive what’s died. I can’t look back I must move on.

And suddenly I’m saddened. “I’ve been lied to. Been made to believe that with my own reasoning and actions, I can achieve. That the course is simply A then to B. Then each step of the way, it’s all mine. It’s up to me.”

Oh, the lies I believed.  The whirl of the world and it’s hum of pride: “Yes, there’s a God. He’s “love” and all that. But look at this world. Can you really believe He’s in control? Be reasonable. Use your mind. You must wear your own hat!”

And the sun hit the water and the breeze sang a song, and the duck went by slowly with his “quack, quack, quack.” And my heart stopped singing it’s sad, mourning song.

I looked up, and blocked the intense light of the afternoon sun just by lifting my tiny, wrinkly thumb. I decided right there, in that very moment of time, that the “thumb” of pride and unbelief was going to be set aside.

I was going to use my “reason” and remember my need. I need God. Right now, today. Front and center, no longer me, but He.

If God says He sent His Son to set me free, from myself and the rest of the ugliness, (as I learned as a child, and then unlearned by the world), then that will be my vision. “For God so loved the world that He gave …” who was I to change God – to be what my mind says.

“Jesus, can You see me? Today, I accept Your love. Somehow, as the ducks “quacked” in the still waters of this pond, my vision was changed.”

“You became my vision, and I remembered Your blood. It has washed me clean. But I forgot. I was taught by this world that I didn’t need washed.”

“Wash me again, and again. O God, I’m so sorry. Will You forgive me?”

So I went home and read Psalm 139 aloud, to be reminded again, that in fact, He is the center of all I see:

“O Lord, you have searched me [thoroughly] and have known me. 

You know when I sit down and when I rise up [my entire life, everything I do];
You understand my thought from afar.

You scrutinize my path and my lying down,
And You are intimately acquainted with all my ways.
 
Even before there is a word on my tongue [still unspoken],
Behold, O Lord, You know it all.

You have enclosed me behind and before,
And [You have] placed Your hand upon me.
 
Such [infinite] knowledge is too wonderful for me;
It is too high [above me], I cannot reach it.

Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?

If I ascend to heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in Sheol (the nether world, the place of the dead), behold, You are there.
 
If I take the wings of the dawn,
If I dwell in the remotest part of the sea,
 
Even there Your hand will lead me,
And Your right hand will take hold of me.
 
If I say, “Surely the darkness will cover me,
And the night will be the only light around me,”

 
Even the darkness is not dark to You and conceals nothing from You,
But the night shines as bright as the day;
Darkness and light are alike to You.

 
For You formed my innermost parts;
You knit me [together] in my mother’s womb.
 
I will give thanks and praise to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Wonderful are Your works,
And my soul knows it very well.

 
My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was being formed in secret,
And intricately and skillfully formed [as if embroidered with many colors] in the depths of the earth.

Your eyes have seen my unformed substance;
And in Your book were all written
The days that were appointed for me,
When as yet there was not one of them [even taking shape]. 

How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!

If I could count them, they would outnumber the sand.
When I awake, I am still with You …

Search me [thoroughly], O God, and know my heart;
Test me and know my anxious thoughts;

And see if there is any wicked or hurtful way in me,
And lead me in the everlasting way.” Psalm 139, Amplified.

“Yes, Lord, You see me. Help me grow in You, each day, please.”

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Author: tonirypkema

Wife to 1, mother of 11, daughter of 1. "The most amazing woman in the world." -Jared (son)

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